idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize