I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
