Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize