that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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