Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I wear drunk well.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
