I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
