So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
