Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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