I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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