life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
