I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
