sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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