Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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