i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
