just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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