Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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