He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
