just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
