So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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