I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize