Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
