so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
