Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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