just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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