i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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