Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
