we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
