I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
