Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
