I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
