New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
