You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
