i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
