Pants 0. Shit 1.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
