i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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