Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Randomize
