Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
