Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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