I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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