So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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