I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
