Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
