And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
