The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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