Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
