3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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