you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
