The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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