I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize