The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
