white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
