just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
