is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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