my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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