If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
