She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
