i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I love you. Go after that dick
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
