No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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