Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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