I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
