I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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