i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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