somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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