I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
