i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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